Breaktime - how do you relax when you get a moment?

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 I'm retired.  Newly retired. Not that anyone is counting, but I've been retired for ...


... approximately.

Breaktime?  You know how it is when you are new at something and trying to build a new psychological infrastructure.  It is amateur hour for a while.  You're used to having markers and mileposts indicating flow and directionality.  You go to work on these days.  You go to your mother-in-law's house to care for her on the weekends.  Your wife comes home at a certain time from her work.

What happens when those markers and mileposts are removed, erased?  You retire.  Your mother-in-law has a heart attack that very day and your are now staying with your wife at her mother's mobile home while you shepherd her through rehab and relocation to a care facility.  And now you settle in to all those hobbies and things you never had the time to develop.

And a novel coronavirus appears and it seems like it is causing local trouble in China.  Then it starts seeming like it is hitting the news a bit more and starting to migrate to Europe.  Italy is hit, it isn't here yet, but it is no worry, because we are the best prepared in the world to deal with disease.  You know the President is not a trustworthy source for any information, but you don't think that blowhard is very relevant in this case.  You figure it will probably be a case where the medical experts will deal with it, so you don't sweat it.  You are getting your clipper card and starting your public transport exploration and enjoyment of San Francisco across the Bay.  It is great to be a senior!

Then it starts getting serious.  Really serious!  So, your wife steps out of her work environment, because she is just becoming a senior herself and being a dental hygienist is suddenly not a safe place to be.  So, she isn't going to work anymore.  It is no longer safe to travel by public transit to the city.  Markers and milestones are evaporating right before my eyes.  We can't even visit my mother-in-law in person anymore, or hang out with our kids and grandkids!

So, how do you relax when faced with every structural element of your life simply disappearing?  You stop and think, you step back and consider, you cogitate and evaluate.  And it occurs to you that the issue now is not how to relax when you get a moment.  The issue is how to not just relax all the time.  Life has put breaktime up front, not in the background where it has always belonged.  Where do you turn to solve this?

Oddly and counterintuitively, it is found by looking within.  What are you seeking a break from right now?  Not from work.  Not from being busy all the time.  Not from obligations stacked up.  Not from an unrelenting schedule.  No, now the break must be a break from nothingness, a break from meaningless perpetuation.  The break must be a break from the fall into the abyss that kills so many Americans in short order on retirement.  Other cultures are much better and Ramana speaks of this phase of his life in spiritual terms prescribed by his culture.

So, I create within my psyche markers and milestones on a daily basis.  I do it the same way that I am writing this blog entry, allowing myself to flow intuitively, listening to the silence within, for it speaks so clearly when you learn to hear.  Nothing is actually the greater something, it is the world turned inside out.  It is really very interesting!

Enough writing.  I think I'll post this now.  It's time for a relaxing break.

Please check out my other blog mates' takes on the same topic brought to us by Chuck the Shackman at their blogs: 


Comments

  1. Shackman December 10, 2020 at 2:32 PM

    Love this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UrsulaDecember 11, 2020 at 12:58 AM

    A moving account, Old Fossil, of your status quo in flux. And, as usual, put so very succinctly.

    U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Old FossilDecember 12, 2020 at 6:15 PM

      Thanks, Ursula! I just sat and let the words flow, no actual edits or review. I don't think my situation is at all unique, though, because the whole world is in a state of flux!

      Delete
  3. Ramana RajgopaulDecember 11, 2020 at 3:20 AM

    Let me return the compliment. I foresaw the approach that you have taken. It has not been easy for you since your retirment that coincided with so many difficulties for you that it would have been far more stressful than before retirement. My observation, speaking from experience, this too shall pass. Diving within is the perfect solution to handle the stress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Old FossilDecember 12, 2020 at 6:18 PM

      Actually, I find it to be more scrambled and weird than stressful most of the time. In fact, I find myself watching it with more bemusement than anything else.

      Delete

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